7 Tips for Online Dating from an Online Dating OG

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Here is my story:

 

Flash back to 2009.  I was just graduating from college in Houston, Texas and getting ready to move back home to Portland.  I had been broken up with my boyfriend for like 6 months or so and thought since I’m moving back home,  it might be a good time to meet some new people.  I had been disconnected from my Portland friends for almost 5 years so it seemed to make sense.

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My Alma Mater

At this time, eHarmony was starting to gain some popularity.  One day, my mom said that the daughter of one of her friends tried it and was successful so I thought. Why not?  I didn’t have any internet in my little apartment, so I drove over to my school and hopped online which would be THE biggest life changing moment of my life.

I decided that I wanted to give eHarmony a try.  I paid $60 to use their service and created a profile.  Some of my photos were kinda ,ahem, suggestive… but whatever. You only live ONCE. lol  I posted some of my modeling pictures.  Yeah I know… My husband told me that he thought my pix were fake, but decided to risk it. Good job, Jordan.

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The way eHarmony works is it asks some VERY in depth questions.  It took me about an hour just to fill out their opening questionaire.  I did my best to answer COMPLETELY truthfully.  I’m not sure why someone would fake an answer on an online survey like this.  At that point it’s just you against yourself! Why not just be as truthful as possible?

Soon as I know, I’m matched with this racially ambiguous, painfully handsome looking guy.

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One of Jordan’s Profile Pix. The one that GOT ME

I thought he was absolutely ADORABLE! I mean check out those killer dimps! Yeah, I was smitten right away.  So I decided to proceed with eHarmony’s process.  I was actually the one to make the first move!  In order to move forward with their process, you send the answers to like 5-6 questions that your potential match has selected for you to answer.  So I answered his questions and sent them back.  Within maybe 48 hours, he RESPONDED!!!!

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I got that RUSH of excitement! You know when you’re so excited your stomach starts hurting and your heart starts racing.  I couldn’t believe that I was so excited over someone I had never met before!

So we did this for a couple weeks until FINALLY  eHarmony allows you to openly communicate with your match via email and you can exchange numbers or whatever.

Fast forward to the day I’m at the airport getting ready to leave Houston for Portland.  HE CALLS ME.  It was as if I had known him my entire life.  He was so sweet but sounded COMPLETELY different than I expected.  Haha! I just paired this “voice” with his that didn’t match at all which was actually really funny. We still laugh about that.

Anyway, we talked for about 30 minutes and planned to meet up once I got back home to Portland.

Now here is where things got a little weird and uncertain for me.   We didn’t actually know each other outside of talking on the phone ONE time, and our email conversations.  So, one day we made plans that we were going to meet up and at the last minute HE CANCELLED ON ME!!!

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He said that he had family coming in from out of town and could we reschedule?  At that point, I was REALLY annoyed and skeptical of him.  I thought he was just coming up with an excuse to not go out and was just another LOSER like the rest of them.   So I immediately started to put a wall up.

A few days later, he calls and suggested that we head over to Henry’s (a place his bro suggested) to finally meet up face to face.  I agreed.

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I got this CUTE ass dress that showed off ALL my curves. My hair was on point, I smelled DELICIOUS and was totally ready to meet this mystery guy.

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Dress I wore to our first date.  This pic was taken in Mexico. The trip was my graduation gift from my parentals.  That’s why I look so glowy and chocolatey. 

I intentionally showed up like 5-10 minutes late just to keep the anticipation up. Which was actually EXTREMELY hard for me because I’m a 5 minutes EARLY type of girl and I  absolutely DESPISE it when people are late without letting me know.  Anyway, the moment finally came and I’m literally talking to myself as I’m walking around the block saying “Sarah, you look bomb.com”  “Don’t be creepy” “Girl, just chill out its going to be fine.”

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As I turn the corner, to my surprise he looked EXACTLY like his photo!!!! I was so relieved.  And then he gave me a HUG! Inside I’m thinking “If he asks you to have a one night stand you tell him YOU… ARE..DOWN! He is worth every second of future emotional distress this will give you!” HAHAHAHA but seriously tho. You know you’ve been there.  I was INSTANTLY into him. ( We did NOT. I REPEAT DID NOT. Have a one night stand)

We had the most incredible date.  Now looking back, it is funny that in that moment I was already talking to my husband and the father of my children.  I had prayed for him for YEARS and there he was right in front of me.

So my question to you is, if you knew that you could risk $60 to stand directly in front of your future spouse and parent to your children, would you pay for it??? MY answer to that question is absolutely YES!!!

I feel really concerned for my friends who are currently single because what I have come to notice is that what was once a reliable dating source has now become tarnished by these online dating apps like Tinder.  I personally think that Tinder and other related apps have given people SO many options, that a lot of people are unwilling to get involved in a long term committed relationship.  So here are my 7 tips for getting back into the online dating world without getting discouraged.

7 Tips for Online Dating from an Online Dating OG

  1.  PAY for a RELIABLE online dating Site

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I didn’t use a free app. I didn’t get in on a free weekend.  I paid for one that was tried and true!  Maybe consider stepping up your online dating game and actually PAYING for one.  $60 is not going to break the bank.  It was the best investment I have EVER made.  A great friend of mine used Match.com and 7 years later is married to her hubby and they have a beautiful baby girl.  Here is her raving review of Match.

” I met my husband on match.com. When I first got on there I was so unsure about the whole thing. I was scared of meeting someone who was lying about who they really were.  But I just told myself to be honest with everything I wrote and things I said to any guy that wanted to talk to me.  I also knew that I needed to put myself out there, and I’m so glad I did.  I wanted to go on match.com because my mom met her husband on there and I thought if she could, then why couldn’t I?  I have now been married to my husband for almost 7 years and we have a beautiful daughter.  I am so thankful to match.com because without them I would not have this amazing life that I have.  For anyone thinking about doing it, I would say just make sure you are honest and true to other people but to yourself as well.  Good luck finding your match!”  ~Bethany 

2.  Use a sexy picture but not too sexy

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Actual photo used as my profile pic. Who did I think I was? Apparently, Beyonce. lol

In my little 21 years of life, I had not made the greatest decisions.  I used a profile picture that would likely get any man’s attention with the little side boob showing.  But just don’t do that.  I happened to attract a normal guy, but I also got some SUPER creeps too. Just don’t do it!  Choose a photo that represents the best outwardly attractive image of yourself.  Learn from my sad, pathetic mistakes people.

3.  Answer the questionnaire as HONESTLY as you possibly can.

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If it asks if you have done drugs before and you HAVE say YES! If you hate Cats, TELL them you hate them.  If you’re an Atheist, be real about it!  Don’t go into it thinking that the person on the other side of the computer is NOT answering truthfully.  Fully believe that they are answering just as honestly as you are and let your destiny work that out for you.

4.  BE PATIENT

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You could be as lucky as I was and be matched with your soul mate the second you log on! Or it may take a date or 2 or 3 to find Mr. or Mrs. Perfect.  Don’t be in any massive rush and don’t be so critical. Go into this with an open mind. Each person is NOT the same as the last so give them a fighting chance to prove to you who they really are!

5.  Remember why you signed up in the first place

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If you just want a hook up, a service like eHarmony is not for you. Go to one of those freebie sites.  In fact, you don’t even need a website to get a hook up. Just go on down to your local night club and find you that sloppy hook up and get your needs met.  Now, if you are looking for something more long term like a husband or wife you can’t forget that when you are creating your profile! If the dude says he hasn’t washed his face in 14 years, has no job and never plans on having one maybe he’s not the one. Be real and honest in what you want. Do you want that tingly feeling in your heart again? Do you want a family? Do you want a life partner?

6.  Take a dating BREAK

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Maybe you have tried online dating and have been unsuccessful.  Maybe try and focus on yourself and don’t go looking for anything.  Sometimes, the greatest love stories are those of 2 people who weren’t looking for love at all!  Just chill out for a while and refocus your energy and take care of yourself.  You can always come back to it later.

7.  Don’t have sex on the first date

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Unless its just a hook up, just don’t do it.  Take time to let the person earn your heart and love.  How many times has it been stepped on, ripped out, and thrown away?   You cry yourself to sleep sometimes because the pain hurts so bad.  And then you try and find just about ANYONE to make that pain go away.  BEEN THERE. It hurts having your heart broken and not EVERYONE deserves the chance to potentially break it.  By opening your heart, you are not only giving this person the chance to love you unconditionally, but you are also giving them the chance to destroy it.   Make sure this person is worth that risk. Do youself a favor and just wait it out.

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Our Wedding Day 9/3/11

Jordan and I are now happily married for going on 7 years! We have a beautiful baby girl, Adley and we have a little boy coming in just a few weeks.

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Christmas 2016

We have created this WONDERFUL life together and nothing would make me happier than to see other people have the same joy we have.  Doesn’t have to be done MY way, but I wish joy and love for all nonetheless. This level of happiness all started online.

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Crater Lake, Oregon 

Did you or someone you know find long lasting love on a dating website? If so, which one?  If you are skeptical/critical of dating online, tell me why!!! I wanna know it all.  I hope this post blessed you and if anything was a little entertainment for the day.  Until next time, stay sexy sugarplums!

 

Cheers,

Sarah

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